Ahwatukee Foothills Newspaper
August 18, 2008
I am sure that some of you probably notice this isn't how I normally do my columns, I thought I would change it up a bit. Lately, I have been receiving e-mails from people who are being cheated. I have received so many that I found it important to dedicate a full column to this subject.
It fascinates me, when two people are in a relationship, how truly selfish certain people can be. When you are in a relationship, it is a 50/50 situation at all times. But in all reality, there are so many of us out there that either seem to be doing all the work in a relationship or are getting zero say in all matters, including feelings, decisions, finances and even voicing opinions. No wonder they say that nowadays everyone seems to lose their identity when they are in a relationship. It shouldn't have to be that way.
Relationships are all about compromising, working together, sharing love, working towards euphoria of happiness that each partner can enjoy just as equally as the other. They are not always easy, and everyday it requires some work from each person. So it upsets me to see all these wonderful people out there getting emotionally let down or hurt throughout the duration of a relationship, and even at the final stage that we all dread; the breakup.
It is not only common courtesy but even an unwritten obvious rule that if you stop loving someone, or don't want to be with someone anymore, have the respect to end things properly with the other person. I mean come on ... you most likely loved that person at one point or another and just because you may not love them anymore, does not give you the right to treat them like trash. If you do not want to be with someone then tell them. Be straightforward and honest and perhaps you may even be able to save a partial friendship from that point. In some cases you can save the friendship, but in other cases you may not be able to. That is the risk one takes when entering into a relationship.
For those of you that do not want to follow the common courtesy unwritten rule, here is a piece of advice. Cheating on someone or having someone else lined up on the side "in case" you break up is beyond cowardly and selfish. By doing that you show that you have no consideration for other people and that you do not belong in a relationship. If you have a wandering eye and cannot be committed to someone in a respectful way then just stay single. Do everyone a favor and stop hurting people and wasting everyone's time. You are going to hurt the person's feelings either way when you break up, especially if they did not see the break up coming. The least you can do is give the other person proper closure as to end it in a respectful way without haven cheated on the other person or say "there is someone else."
When you cheat on someone, you show your true character. You show that you are selfish and inconsiderate of other people's feelings. I also think that you have some issues with yourself that you need to work out that have to do with insecurity, and by cheating you are irresponsible and do not belong in relationships.
For all those out there who have been cheated on, there is nothing wrong with you so stop thinking that way. All of you that have written in seem like wonderful, good people and, one day, you will find someone great who will treat you with so much respect and love as you will to them. Just be patient for it will come and the more you wait, the more you will appreciate the other person when they do come. As for your exes who have cheated ... no worries because karma always comes back around.
August 18, 2008
I am sure that some of you probably notice this isn't how I normally do my columns, I thought I would change it up a bit. Lately, I have been receiving e-mails from people who are being cheated. I have received so many that I found it important to dedicate a full column to this subject.
It fascinates me, when two people are in a relationship, how truly selfish certain people can be. When you are in a relationship, it is a 50/50 situation at all times. But in all reality, there are so many of us out there that either seem to be doing all the work in a relationship or are getting zero say in all matters, including feelings, decisions, finances and even voicing opinions. No wonder they say that nowadays everyone seems to lose their identity when they are in a relationship. It shouldn't have to be that way.
Relationships are all about compromising, working together, sharing love, working towards euphoria of happiness that each partner can enjoy just as equally as the other. They are not always easy, and everyday it requires some work from each person. So it upsets me to see all these wonderful people out there getting emotionally let down or hurt throughout the duration of a relationship, and even at the final stage that we all dread; the breakup.
It is not only common courtesy but even an unwritten obvious rule that if you stop loving someone, or don't want to be with someone anymore, have the respect to end things properly with the other person. I mean come on ... you most likely loved that person at one point or another and just because you may not love them anymore, does not give you the right to treat them like trash. If you do not want to be with someone then tell them. Be straightforward and honest and perhaps you may even be able to save a partial friendship from that point. In some cases you can save the friendship, but in other cases you may not be able to. That is the risk one takes when entering into a relationship.
For those of you that do not want to follow the common courtesy unwritten rule, here is a piece of advice. Cheating on someone or having someone else lined up on the side "in case" you break up is beyond cowardly and selfish. By doing that you show that you have no consideration for other people and that you do not belong in a relationship. If you have a wandering eye and cannot be committed to someone in a respectful way then just stay single. Do everyone a favor and stop hurting people and wasting everyone's time. You are going to hurt the person's feelings either way when you break up, especially if they did not see the break up coming. The least you can do is give the other person proper closure as to end it in a respectful way without haven cheated on the other person or say "there is someone else."
When you cheat on someone, you show your true character. You show that you are selfish and inconsiderate of other people's feelings. I also think that you have some issues with yourself that you need to work out that have to do with insecurity, and by cheating you are irresponsible and do not belong in relationships.
For all those out there who have been cheated on, there is nothing wrong with you so stop thinking that way. All of you that have written in seem like wonderful, good people and, one day, you will find someone great who will treat you with so much respect and love as you will to them. Just be patient for it will come and the more you wait, the more you will appreciate the other person when they do come. As for your exes who have cheated ... no worries because karma always comes back around.
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